You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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