Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
