how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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