R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
