Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
