Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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