Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
