you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
