At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
