I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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