I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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