I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
