So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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