So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
