Do you still have your period?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
