Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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