I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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