So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that's an acceptable place to lick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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