How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
