I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
