You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
