that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
