whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
