He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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