it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
