I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
