I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
