Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize