Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
