all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just pee around me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
