i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
