So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
