Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
