I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize