Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
