this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
