..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
