it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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