You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
