pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And then he peed in my hair
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