Can i not drive my cunt home
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize