...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
