Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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