yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you never un-have a 4some
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
