I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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