Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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