I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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