This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I understand Curling. That high.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
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From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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