grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
4 words: hood of his car
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
