Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
