do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
