Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want to fling myself into the sun
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
