someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
