just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
