No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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