My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
