so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
