Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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