So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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