my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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