your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
