do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
