Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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