It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
