All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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