Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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